So lately I have been having these dream's that don't make much sense to me. In the dream's just my health conditions are bad, in which in several of the dream's I was told I had cancer. Yeah crazy huh? I been waking up hearing voices, not just any voice, my parents voice. The last three days I swear I hear my mothers voice saying son wake up... And I wake up chocked up because I am sitting there thinking there is no way I could have heard that... Its clear as day to me, so clear to me that its just crazy. I thought I heard my fathers voice as well not to sure what he is saying but it wakes me up, as tho he was wanting me to do something.
Every day I believe my friends always wonder what goes through my crazy mind. And really, I recap on the life I had, how I treated others with respect. Attempted to help them in all ways I could, I would give them all of my money if they needed it. But things are just turned around to be where I am shit on, spit on, cut on, treated like a outcast. Even those I helped do it, my kindness has brought me smiles then later pain.
I honestly can't say how I feel anymore, I think slowly I am losing myself... I feel I lost my real purpose because PEOPLE want me to live their way of life. And with me trying to follow my father, to where I have elders that respect me which are few. But others look at me like im a outcast that doesn't belong... I could say the same about them as well but I guess its not my place to judge.
I guess I just got to get back into my reality... I need to sit down with an elder and talk about this... Sunday, maybe I hope I will go see one.
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